Every day it seems to take less and less… Big M, my lovely threenager, can dissolve into tears at the drop of a hat. It’s usually preceded by an audible gasp, followed by “Oh no…” I don’t have a solution for ending the madness, other than you have to just laugh to keep from melting down yourself!
- Her orange tutu is … gasp… missing! Since she ditched most of her lovies, her tutu is now like an appendage, always on her person so long as we are in the house and awake (my rules!).
- Her orange tutu “is stuck” under her dress instead of being on top for all the world to see.
- Just as bad, her snowflake crown is missing… or Lil’ M took it!
- There is a speck of food on her face or finger, and she can’t reach the napkins.
- Some portion of her food has touched another kind of food on her plate… even if they are ultimately going to end up together… like a fry touching the ketchup.
- I served her strawberry yogurt. I told her we were all out of her favorite peach yogurt, I even showed her the container, which she acknowledged would be acceptable, but once it was actually opened and sitting on the table in front of her, she changed her mind… in dramatic fashion!
- She has to poop, but refuses to go anywhere but in her bathroom while sitting with the ‘ePad’, so has decided to let out ear-piercing screeches at the top of her lungs as I drive down 95. Pleasant for everyone!
- From across the room, Lil’ M is looking at her toy, and maybe, even considering coming to snatch it.
- Lil’ M is touching her chair. She’s not actually sitting in it, nor does she want to, but she doesn’t want Lil’ M touching it, just the same.
- She wants to wear her ballerina pjs. They are the first ones worn every time laundry is done, but that darn laundry fairy doesn’t do laundry everyday, and they are dirty again.
- A “‘momercial” has interrupted her previously scheduled programming, and she wants her show to come back on.
- There is no P on her PBJ… however, she immediately opens the sandwich every time and only eats the jelly half. But don’t let that mistakenly lead you to believe she doesn’t want peanut butter. She wants it – she just doesn’t want to eat it.
- She peed on her tutu. This meltdown is one of epic proportions – the need to wear it at all times, includes in the bathroom, and sometimes it doesn’t get out of the way in time. Now we must live without it for hours while it goes through the wash and hangs to dry… just the thought of tutu missing brings on another near meltdown.
- She does not want to remove her tutu (see #1).
- Her hair is stuck under her carseat strap, instead of flowing freely and luxuriously like in a Pantene commercial.
- She wanted her hair “in a braid like Elsa,” but I only put it partially “up like Princess Aurora.” Putting it in requested braid still ends up in a meltdown because the braid tail is not long enough to drape over her shoulder like Elsa’s… “need longer hair.”
- She has to pee… right now… Now that the car is actually in drive and pulling out of the preschool parking lot, and despite the fact that I asked her four times before we walked out of school, and she said no every time.
- There are crumbs on her tutu. Nevermind that I suggested she remove it before sitting down to eat, or that they are easily brushed off. Now that there are crumbs on it, we are devastated.
- She did not get a horse. We are having animal crackers for snack, and she does not have a horse in her allotment. Talk about world ending!
- Lil’ M has successfully executed a princess-napping… and is now running through the house with the prize held high above her head laughing hysterically. While Big M dissolves into the floor in a puddle. Guess who taught her to taunt like that?!?
- She has lost her tutu for the day for beating on Lil’ M. I’ve resorted to this as a last resort, as it seems to be the best natural consequence… of course, it also has the consequence of subjecting the rest of us to sporadic spontaneous meltdowns as she remembers that she can’t have her tutu back until tomorrow.
- There is a dribble of water on her shirt, and now she is “all wet.” After a few sobs, she will calm down – “It’s ok, it can dry!”
- “The car is all wet!”… as in, the exterior. Because it is pouring outside. Apparently, it deserves an umbrella to stay dry too.
- Her sticker is gone. At dance class, playgroup, doctor’s office, they give kids stickers… they have become the bane of mothers everywhere. The threenager immediately removes it from their person, drops it somewhere between the moment it is given and the time we get home, inducing an avalanche of tears that the Frozen sticker is now gone, or worse, no longer sticky.
- And my favorite this month…A real, live Santa is somewhere in the vicinity… don’t even think about making her go sit on his lap!
Want some tips for diffusing those threenager woes? Check out 9 Ways to Ease Daily Transitions (even tutu removal!) and 15 Ways to Remove the Grump from Your Day. What are your favorite threenager moments? Share them with us on Instagram @PGPBMeghan #threenager!
How to style a #Threenager. Ironic #graphictee, #tutu, #tiara, leggings and black boots. Share your styling munchkin with me! #preschoolfashion #tutuobsessed #pgpb #playgroundparkbench A photo posted by PlaygroundParkbench (@pgpbmeghan) on